Two things learned at the dojo: one, that the focus of male students of high school age deteriorates significantly upon the arrival of slutty high school girls in sorority girl skirts. Even snapping fingers in front of their faces doesn't help very much. And two, never ever imitate the kickboxing instructor who also happens to be a dancer. Her "squats" are actually grand plies in ballet second position. Ow ow, ow, and ow.

And after working in an old folks home (aka 'assisted living') I've learned that underneath the potpourri-masked demeanor, there is something kind of grotesque at work. I don't know if it was the short-person-turning-to-reveal-twisted-hump, the rheumy eye peering from a cracked doorway until I passed, the wrinkled skin frozen into a teeth-baring rictus, or the wheelchair-pushed-away-from-table-to-reveal-grossly-distended-belly. Unrelatedly, having the exact same conversation repeated over and over is kind of boring in one sense, but I suppose it does provide the opportunity to think of a variety of answers and test reactions. In any case, I think I might welcome going back to drugs and violence at UMC.

tokyo plastic - look for 'drummachine,' get ready to kick it surreal style, and get creeped out a little