Finally started to get some things out of karate. Besides a knot right on the juncture of my elbow by the point of a stray elbow of another. Ironically, I think the most valuable things I’ve gotten so far seem to have little to do with pure karate at all. I suppose in that sense my ranged fighting has begun to change in some ways; I’m not sure whether to say ‘improve,’ as I still think kali tudo or muay thai are the way to go in that regard till years are spent with karate, but change. Rather, I think some of my disillusionment with martial arts has been dispelled, in my perspective on them changing in regards to myself. And maybe a bit of a renewal of confidence in my teaching skills, in getting a really whiny, probably fruity, and kind of apathetic youngling to do a technique flow strongly and with his own confidence.

So, gone the old aspirations to be simply as badass as possible. If I was training for that reason, I’d not be working and would be getting ready to go to Thailand with one of the other dojo students. “It’s okay to be exactly where you are,” right? I can more than hold my own, usually, and keep improving, and that’s once more enough for me. Back to hints of realizations that are coming to full, finally; what started this click was one phrase last night: “Your center of balance is always your center of balance.” Well, in truth, what opened me to that have been all my experiences lately, and the profound changes they have wrought in me, but that phrase was the catalyst for the martial arts realizations, as to why I’m continuing to practice them – maybe not back to the quantity I used to, well probably not at all, but I’ll keep in touch with them for sure. Just as the principle follows that the body and mind’s conditions reflect each other, I’m suddenly remembering that knowledge of the body and knowledge of the mind might reflect each other as well (that self-study in both regards being a primary principle of yoga and meditation, though I can’t remember the Sanskrit word for it even though I just read it).

In that phrase, for example, it seems interesting that your center of balance is always exactly that – your center of balance – and yet it is constantly changing, and is almost never still. And that seems a perfect metaphor for one’s Self as well, as with each minute, each new experience we change a little bit, and yet, we are always exactly who we are. And then perhaps circles back to a physical aspect of meditation being a way to get in touch with or know the unchanging aspect of that self, in that physically our center of balance is still for the moment (for sitting meditation, at any rate). To come back to martial arts or yoga (gross versus subtle movement?), if one’s knowledge of one’s physical center of balance improves, does their intimacy with their inner center/self improve as well?

And to circle back to martial arts from a different direction, not only is knowledge of one’s self gained – but also interaction with other’s center of balance, as well. And not just center of balance, but being able to read intentions and body language, being able to blend with another and match rhythms and find openings and interact and have sensitivity not just in physical contact (grappling and trapping) but in terms of location in space, as well (capoeira as prime example, there). The amazing thing to me is that all of those phrases can be applied to one’s Self interacting with another’s Self as well, if one’s knowledge of their physical self and physical principles can be applied internally, or if they reflect internally.

Of course, that’s not just martial arts, obviously. The other best example that almost jumps out at me is rowing. My knowledge of that is only second-hand, but I remember hearing about the aspiration towards unity in physical rhythm and intention among the rowers, and the thrill when they got closer and closer to it. And if that’s not an obvious connection back to yoga and meditation – but with that new aspect of connection with others– I don’t know what is.