completely random, found this in an old Phillip Moffitt article about the pysch. of dealing with disappointment:
"First is the creation of a false identity, a you that is solid and never-changing which is continually reinforced by the story. Just by observing yourself closely, you can see that this isn't true and that your ego is really comprised of a group of personalities which are constantly changing.

The second error is that the story-making can create the illusion that your loss is a fresh event when it is actually something that has passed. These two errors combine to lock you into a ghostlike state in which there is no freedom...you have to actively work to see through these errors and to realize that there is no continuing, unchanging person and no experience that is still happening."