passage from book

“The first thing that happens after you make a mistake is that you become upset. Everyone I know gets upset. That is the first indication of a mistake. At this point of upset, you find out who you really are.”

-the Liar- the liar will say such things as: 'I didn’t do that.' Or, 'No, no, no. It wasn’t me.' Or, 'I don’t know how that happened.' Or, 'Prove it.'
-the Blamer – the blamer will say such things as: 'It’s your fault, not mine.' Or, 'If my wife didn’t spend so much money, I would be better off financially.' Or, 'I would be rich if I didn’t have you kids.' Or, 'It’s my boss’s fault.'
-the Justifier – the justifier will say things such as: 'Well, I don’t have a good education so that is why I don’t get ahead.' Or, 'Oh, I really didn’t want to get it anyway.' Or, 'Well, everyone else was doing it.'
-the Quitter – the quitter says things such as: 'I told you it would never work.' Or, 'This is too hard and it’s not worth it. I’m going to do something easier.' Or, 'Why am I doing this? I don’t need this hassle.'
-the Denier – the ‘cat in the litter box,’ which means this person likes to bury their mistakes: 'No, there's nothing wrong. Things are fine.' Or, 'Mistake? What mistake?' Or, 'Don’t worry. Things will work out.'

When people are upset due to a mistake or accident, one or more of these characters will take over their mind and body. If you want to learn and gain wisdom from this priceless mistake, you have to let The Responsible You eventually take control of your thinking. The Responsible You will eventually say, ‘What priceless lesson can I learn from this mistake?’
If I blame, I give power to the other person. If I take responsibility for what happened, I will learn a precious lesson that I obviously needed to learn. If I lie, blame, justify, or deny, I learn nothing.

Unsuccessful people blame the other person. They often want the other person to change, and that is why they stay upset for so long. They are upset because they fail to learn their personal lesson. Instead of being upset, such people should be grateful for the other person being there to teach them something they needed to learn.

To be upset or hold a grudge against another person is like being upset with your bicycle because you fell off once or twice while trying to learn something new.” - by Robert Kiyosaki

-and a complementing article, Polishing the Mirror