Wow. So my mom says, "...and that's why I became a realist." I thought I had been a true, hardcore realist for so long. And the big secret I was keeping from myself, I realize, and now that I look back I'm sure I knew it on some level, was that there...is, was, i'm not sure of the tense, pure idealism at my core. I don't really know what I'm writing at the moment, maybe it's kind of free verse in that sense, maybe I'll just go and delete it later.