some disparates

On Sunday afternoon, while finishing off my Farscape dvds, and enjoying the almost-stormy weather, I decided to use my spare time to finally play some Cashflow. I really don't think it's a game for everyone; it's less a boardgame than a kind of fun educational tool. But if you're interested in a SimCity type deal but with personal finances, it's great - for an archetypical example of a benefit, one might experiment with behavior one would never do in real life.

I made two 'players' - Jinn, and Dove (incidentally the name of the main character of the erotica I've written, so it was kind of like playing with an ex-pornstar). Grabbing randomly out of the profession choices, Jinn became a teacher (low salary) and Dove became a doctor (high salary, but also higher expenses). Long story short, I found it intensely interesting that I made poor investment choices with Dove, knowing she had more money to spare, and then we she had bad luck, I ended up having no savings. With Jinn, however, whom I was more careful with, I ended up my playing time with him having an inordinate amount of savings, several well paying investments, and able to weather the downturns-by-luck quite easily. Basically, what I'm getting at is that I learned in inordinate amount by playing this game for a couple hours, and just the opposition of each invented player's relative position barely scratches the surface.

Man, for as good a film as Fight Club is, and as skillfully as it is scripted and put together, it's kind of a downer in a sense. That is, after we watched it at the Loft on Friday, I was in a mood for at least a little bit where I was distrusting all sorts of aspects of my life, or my desires for them, just like the characters in the movie. Maybe that's a good thing, in a sense? In other news, the screenwriter, who was there for question-and-answer after the film, seemed kind of a jerk at first, but was ultimately an interesting guy, in the end.

Again, makes me think of vampires...

And from Ms Connie (herself quoting out of an article), "If Star Trek is a utopian civics lesson, in a surgical theatre, Farscape is anonymous sex. In a sewer."

Things of Note - A Boo'ful Weather Weekend

-I chopped every dang plant-y thing in all three yards...thorny ones, citrusy ones, shrubbery, rose...ery; and, now I'm sunburnt and having trouble typing on account of worn-out forearms
-out of all the thorns, the one thing that really went into my skin was a freaking twig! I had to pull a damn twig, millimeter by millimeter, out of my knuckle.
-Mattie kicks ass at rally obedience! Woo!
-she can also do parkour in my family's backyard, including pirouettes atop the thin privacy wall...everyone's jaw dropped, for reals
-that sharp dagger I got several Christmas's back was incredibly handy with the mesquites - yay practical use for decoration! Now if I sharpen that kukri, I bet I could shave another third off the yardwork time...
-a prescription for being bummed: Buddha stories, Love Actually, and Sonoran hot dawgs, aw yeah
-for a Sunday afternoon after a day of yardwork: yoga, Nico's, Farscape (stupid Season 2 cliffhanger ending!!!), and playing with myself (I'll explain that in the next post)
-do not let dogs that like to eat near my mom, unless you want them to explode
-
Not even sure how to describe it - interesting, though

ker-trivaball

Random interesting historical figure for the day - Boston Corbett

Old news, I know, but wowie! Gliese, though? That's the name for the planet?

A collection of interesting plates and excerpts from the great Paradise Lost

just a couple, Mme Penguin...

Well, only a couple comics we like coming out this week, Mme Penguin (hence Ms Kim getting the second Fables volume, per the credit card minimum). But they were good ones! Barracuda 3 continues the oh-my-god craziness of the first couple comics, upping the ante with some sweet tranny lurv and mad machine-gunning. I'm not even sure how to describe it. It's like The Rundown in reverse, mixed with Once Upon a Time in Mexico, with referential flashbacks to Oz and Platoon. Yes. But why is Fifty white on the cover? In spite of all that fun, however, I think I liked Fallen Son: Avengers a bit more. There was a bit of humor in this comic, too ("Ill knock that stupid face off your face!!!"), but mostly it was just some pretty raw pathos. I have to say, though, that the Mighty Avengers subplot just didn't pull off at all what the New Avengers subplot did in terms of fleshing out the anger that this issue was supposed to embody (each Fallen Son issue embodying a different stage of grief).

And for the summer's big event, which I know you're excited about too, Mme Penguin, Hulk smash....well, everything!

Alaska retrospective, courtesy of Wyatt

(check out the other photos he recently uploaded, too, some recent ones from Colorado)
Yeah, grizzly = scary

Section 13 - hardest section to get into in the park

Braided rivers are fun to cross (not as dangerous as back when our dad did it thirty years ago, but still a trick)

The glacial pools were of note for the ice that fell into them periodically, making for a continuous thunder

And these little dudes scared the bejebus out of us with their loud-ass chirping

An interesting article (also from Wyatt); the kind of thing that spurs me on the path I've chosen, as even though I didn't join the military as I'd intended for many years, I feel I can help at home

Odd project - MapMyName

give lof, the doefulmon is nigh, the Ardent-loc incarnate!

Succubi, by Edward Lee. I got this book after reading about Lee, and the interesting note that he just wasn't published anymore because his books were so over top. Curious because of my interest in extremes, I found the cheapest of the used copies I could find (pretty much the only way to find his books, turns out), and though I didn't see what was so special about it for the first half of the book, damn but yeah I see why the prevailing opinion makes sense now.

There's incredible, gross violence, but that's intertwined with sex like...whoa (so, interestingly, if you end up finding it erotic, you end up feeling somewhat disturbed at yourself). At some point I'm going to go back and use a whiteboard to make a semantic web to connect all the themes and variations of sexuality and monstrosity that Lee interweaves - his writing might be pornographic in the more general sense of the word, but he pulls it off somewhat skillfully, I have to say, that is, with some amount of purpose.

Also of note is the interesting (though I'm quite curious as to the accuracy and veracity) use of Old English throughout the novel. Which I'll also note is great to use in a horror novel, as in reading it one constantly feels as if they can almost understand what it says, but not quite - a perfect effect to accent this kind of novel. Which is in a sense kind of an echo of Lee delving into what other authors gloss over as "too maddening to be described."

An interview of a great artist, Hope Larson (look up Salamander Dreams)

Blades of Glory, with Will Ferrell and Jon Heder. Despite the completely randomly violent distractions of the night (there's a warrant out for their testicles...though, why did we never consider ovaries?), we got to watch a fun bootleg. It was pretty funny, in a stupid way, with...sequins. I wouldn't say I'd go out of my way to watch it again, but then, I never really got into that kind of comedy very well, either, however. Um...yay, bromantic comedy? It sure wasn't any Hot Fuzz. But it was okay. In other news, we might be on a police cruiser's camera doing silly things.

Reading about dream interpretations because of some odd, completely implausible dreams (that weren't even mine, ironically), I learned something interesting, if it's true. But it makes sense - that is, that any person or 'character' in one's dream isn't really that person (this is all in one's own head, after all), but is simply some reflection of one's own unconscious. So it's kind of pointless to ascribe the meaning inherent to our connotation of that real life person; rather, they represent some more abstract notion within our psyche.

I vote it's a Lovecraftian alien (seriously, look up some of the descriptions on Wikipedia, I'm actually not kidding, in that regard)

Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?

Hot Fuzz, with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. And a cameo by Cate Blanchett, which I totally did not catch. While it starts out kind of meandering, kind of like Shaun of the Dead that soon leads to utter hilarity the closer the movie gets to the end. Unexpectedly gory, though. But damn, it was funny, British humor rocks. Except, I think the audience, in all of our applause and laughter, missed a good third of the jokes, as we laughed over the follow-up jokes in said quiet, British humor.

I'd noted it before, but I love how my mom looks at the world, or perhaps how she uses language, or both - for instance, I was setting up her cell for her, and she asked that I not put it on a ringer, but set it so it "sings." Unintentionally poetic, and now I imagine cell phones singing, instead of jarringly ringing.

Things of Note - a How Did We Fit That Much In Weekend?

-we seem to be a pox upon Car Spa; every time we go, there's some belligerently angry creepy person
-is it a good or bad omen if coyotes sing as the couple exchanges rings at a wedding? I vote good. I think?
-yay going to Club Crawl waaay overdressed!
-also, yay setting ourselves up in the exact center of Club Crawl and doing all sorts of crazy dances, yet not paying attention to the music at all
-poor Tia fell in the lake...and then down the hill...it was not a pleasant moment for her...yet it was hilarious
-I could see parkour up and down hills on Mt Lemmon; except for that whole, crumbling decaying rock part, it would be like parkour with landmines
-most amazingest house ever: right across from UMC....courtyards, the freaking village fountain, rooftop porch, wine cellar, cat box, several buildings, ivy'd walls, fruit trees...just, wow.

Happy 1/5 Day, Mme Penguin!

Get it, because it's a fraction of 4/20, and...oy, I blame that entirely on the Diesel Sweeties author, but I still think it's kind of funny. Anyway. Mme Penguin's reviews! Cable and Deadpool 39 is just as hilarious as ever, like, actually inducing mad giggling (how can anything that starts out with "I SHOOT YOU!" go wrong?), and interestingly within a sentence explains most of Deadpool's pyschotic behavior and fourth-wall breaking. X-Men 198, despite getting vehemently bad reviews from all sorts of people, gets solidly good reviews from me and Wizard, so ha! The Hecatomb is a great, original monster concept, and the action, characters, and setting are all still taut and interesting. One of the first DC comics I've ever gotten, 52 50 was nicely done. I don't really care for the setting or characters, but I have to admire what they've accomplished with the 52 project and this approaching conclusion - all that, and the Shaolin robot speaks in trigrams! Classic! Now, to find a copy of the I Ching and try to interpret. The 99c intro to Sheena was pretty randomly good, in a literary sense, ironically. X-23: Target X 5 is almost horror-thriller-esque (water-y basement, blood, etc), and the pathos and lovely art are impeccable. For Ms Kim I got Punisher 45, which plays with a darkly humorous storyline and some classic Punisher action. And the other first-DC-comic-bought was World War III: Hell is For Heroes - not as good as 52, I have to say, interesting, surprisingly gory, and world-spanning, but, I can't quite call it great. Maybe I'm just prejudiced against DC.

And: greatest video ever. Which Ms Kim figured out the twist to in her usual expectation-defying way - Wyatt, feel free to exclaim incredulously. Because I did, too.

ommm mane padme bark (obliquely)

The Art of Raising a Puppy, by the Monks of New Skete. I love books that combine storytelling with practical knowledge, and this book is an exemplar of that. I mean, it is an instructional book, of course, but it is very pleasant and easy to read, it's almost like having a chat with some nice monk dude about behaviors, communication, training, and nature. As charismatic as, say, the Dog Whisperer host is, I don't think his approach is as positive, healthy, or humane as the monks' is, both from just intuition and what I've seen in real life, in watching the latter method in action. Of note (and also both a similarity and contrast to the Dog Whisperer) is the side-emphasis on the development of the person, as well as the dog.

:P-->(toad)

"The toads shrivel to a wilted memory of themselves, like mummified pharoahs...to spend years waiting out droughts." Does that make anyone else think of vampires? Because I do. Now I want to go and find a copy of that Peter Watts book that may or may not have ever been actually published, concerning space vampires. Of course, from the few pages I'd read of it online, I could probably accomplish the same end result upon myself by licking one of said toads.

On the independent nature of cowpeople:
"For one thing, if you throw a cowboy in a swift river, he'll just naturally float upstream."

Yet another reason for awesomeness

"When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out?"

Fast Times at Ridgemont High, with Sean Penn, Forest Whitaker, and...Nicholas Cage?! Ok, yeah, didn't recognize him at all. Anyway, for the first bit of this movie, I thought, ah crap, I blew it, got another 80s movie which is technically a classic but is kind of eh in terms of standing the test of time. But! But. I'd say it actually more than stands the test of time, and is a helluva lot more an honest, real movie than anything similar that might have come out more recently. From all the horribly awkward moments to the posturing and bullshitting to the (I use the word again) honest moments, I think it's just much more relate-able than a movie with a more standard, fluff formula. Yeah, I can see why this one's a classic. Sidenote-ly, though, the nudity sure caught me off guard.

Oh! And also, another point pertaining to the previous post occurred to me, about chewing through a bite all the way through, before taking the next bite into one's mouth. Which I may or may not be guilty of. But anyway, that's a point that's often brought up in yoga about eating mindfully. Now, on to working on not letting thoughts run over each other...

that thing I do...

...where I find one little thing, and then connect it to several others. I know, I'm wierd, I got that. Still enjoying such. Anyway:
"Learning the value of silence is learning to listen to, instead of screaming at, reality: opening your mind enough to find what the end of someone else’s sentence sounds like, or listening to a dog until you discover what is needed instead of imposing yourself in the name of training."

So, here are the random things I subsequently thought upon reading that. One, was how in poetry we were taught to really enunciate the end of words, for example, the 'ng' at the end of 'king,' as a method of projecting for a reading. But, it requires that the audience is listening for that, as well. Obliquely like how a person might not even realize their fearful body language is being reflected by a dog being fearful in turn (I was thinking of a lady-friend of Kevin's who Mathilda was completely freaked out by, and the click-point where I realized how she was holding her body - rigid, nervous and throwing out condescending bravado to cover for such - though it also made me think of people reflecting each other in martial arts).

Which connected to something I'd noted in an article about aikido I'd read just before, about sensitivity to the other person's movement, ki, and attack. What was really important in that article, though, was that it emphasized that to really be able to "listen" to the other person, self-control was the priority - any lack of control, of trying to impose yourself on them, completely negates any ability to perceive what you need to. Of course, that discounts the interrupting principle of, say, jeet kune do, but I'll also note that the unlike the softer arts (jujitsu, aikido, etc), jeet kune do's interrupting principles can only really apply externally to social interaction in an argument, and personally I wouldn't even want to conduct an argument that way (what's incredibly effective in fighting I think in that case socially would be just churlish at best, unlike the more adaptive ki-based arts, or suited only to arguing with an irrational person).

That in turn made me think of the idea of that listening to the end of a sentence in social interaction. While interrupting someone's punch, as in JKD, is great because you really don't even want the end of that punch, socially if one interrupts one not only doesn't get to hear the end of the other's thought, one also displays that they blatantly were just not listening, and on top of that focusing just on getting their own thought out. Instead of balance, with both people getting their say and listening to the full thoughts of the other (leading to a richer conversation), the person not-being-listened-to withdraws from the interaction, as, what's the point, except to passively listen? As a sidenote, in the more adaptive arts, one often wants the punch to continue through to its full extension...just not to hit the target - but one still, or rather, especially has to listen for the 'end of the sentence,' there.

Now, I'm speaking purely in the abstract here than to any specific example except that first, and really more to concepts I've been chewing on for years, as interrupting versus adapting is a key concept within martial arts and then yoga in turn (I won't even get into the listening-to-the-self concept here, or how combining them might apply to social interaction). But, of course, if the gentle reader didn't listen to the end of this post, I guess they might miss that (cue me getting smacked upside the head for trying to be self-servingly clever).

dogs

I've heard at times variations on the theme of dogs having a Buddha-nature, or the Buddha having ascribed to them as such. And I've thought about it in turn, and yeah, I think that's true in some senses - say, in how they sleep when they're sleepy, they eat when they're hungry, they forgive quickly and adeptly.

But more apparent to me, I think, is the quality of agape that I would say dogs have. That is, that special kind of unconditional love, that by some views is the epitome of aspiration - an almost unattainable aspiration - for mystics of all stripes, Christian and Sufi and yogi. But, for dogs it just seems to come easily, a non-judging, complete love for something (someone) outside of themselves, an adoration that is practically self-sacrificing.

So, to me, that is the 'spiritual' quality that sets the place of dogs in human families and lives.

slap me some wing, Mme Penguin!

Or would that be fin? Hm. Anyway, damn but did some good comics come out this week. Nova 1 is a great start to a new series, the relationship between Richard and the Worldmind is priceless; I hope they keep that and the interesting writing up as it goes on. In differently awesome way, New X-Men 37 is a real work of art, I mean, like in the painted sense - the dark fairytale portion really is painted, and smoothly placed within a lovely frame of the regular comic. Gen13 7 is finally getting back to those wacky ol' Gen13 roots, with a standalone issue that can't help but make the reader grin from ear to ear. Conversely, Stormwatch PHD 6 continues to build its own unique style, with great dynamics between the various characters and within the expanded setting, and ends with a great setup for an Assault on Precinct 13-style throwdown. Ironman 16 is also something of a standalone issue, good, but not interesting enough to get me started on it; I did enjoy the (re)introduction of the Mandarin, though - creepy! And what I'd say is the weakest, but what I suspect many would say would be the strongest would be New Avengers 29 - again, Dr Strange as deus ex magicka, oy, but the dialogue sure is snappy, and the art, unconventional. In other news...the hell?

it hurts so good

The Pursuit of Happyness, with Will Smith and Jayden Smith. Well, like Bryce said, don't watch this movie if you're in any way depressed. It's just...agonizing to sit through, so many bad things just screw over a decent guy. But, that said, it's not as if the movie isn't entertaining, with amazing acting, especially from the younger Smith, and since it's pretty much a given that there's a happy ending, the rest of the movie is more palatable for that. I think a lot of people might dismiss even the idea of the movie out of hand, but at the same time, I think it's the kind of (in the end) positive movie that does good in being there to watch. Heh, and that little cameo they threw in at the very end - ten points. [sidenotewise, it would be interesting to compare this movie to another semi-biographical like, say, Domino]

On a different note, isn't in funny to see how people split into two entirely different camps over Children of Men? I mean, wow. I say camps, as I noted to Kevin, as it doesn't just seem a difference in opinion, but that there might be trenches or barricades between the opposing sides. I wouldn't have put as much thought into it had I not completely coincidentally found an email back-and-forth that Connie'd sent me a good while ago about the movie, that echo'ed Kevin and me in turn. And then, there's Wyatt, Kim, and Stephanie's input, and I'd bet money that the more people one would ask, the more people would stack up on each side. And then, there'd be a rumble. Old school. Unless you're in that other camp, who thinks there wouldn't be any rumbling (ker-wink). And the people who just didn't see it...hm...as Kevin points out, I guess they'd be on the road leading up to (or away, if they just refuse to see it) the camps. But, I suppose I'm hardly concerned with them, as I'm strapping on my helmet - death to the...uh...other camp!

a new favorite

A Path With Heart, by Jack Kornfield. I probably don't need to say much about this book, as I've been saying a hell of a lot on the Trinity bloggie. Or perhaps, rather, using the book a great deal, which says a lot about its practical value, I think. Kornfield has an amazing skill with storytelling, and at the same time inviting the reader to engage with the principles and concepts he explores. As much as I read it all the way through, as it was something my yoga teacher had lent me, I bet it would serve just as well and probably better as a reference text, something to be referred and returned to when confusion or blocks or down-times are run into. Hence, me just having ordered my own used copy. Good stuff.

Mme Penguin: You rock. And/or roll.

I decided Penguin is now female, it's more fun. And that she speaks French, because Ms Penguin didn't have the same ring to it.

Bitbit reviews! Painkiller Jane 0 I got because it was only a quarter, as it's just a simple little preview; it's a lot different than the bad Scifi Channel movie I saw, but that's a good thing. There's a bevy of Jack the Rippers in Wisdom 4, which continues to up the ante with each issue in terms of using British subconscious-cultural images and ideas. The Initiative 1 fully lived up to my expectations, it's a great use of expanded setting, with introductions of several new characters (Cloud 9 is a adorable, maybe another Blink in the making?), and an interestingly disturbing ending. I was disappointed, on the other hand, by Fallen Son: Wolverine; the art was great, but it just rehashed a storyline and 'eh' idea from New Avengers. Whedon's taken over for Runaways 25, but it almost just makes me want to go back and read Vaughn's earlier run, as Kim's brother reminded me of, it seems like this might just be a Whedon-ization of an already good thing. I'll give it a chance, though, I think. And Heralds of Galactus 2 might have been more interesting if I'd read any of the Annihilation epic, but even still I think I just can't really get into any of the "cosmic" storylines.

Word of the Day: galactagogue (seriously that's just a crazy word)

An interesting little survey of repitition

Things of Note - A Supah Egg Day Weekend!

-apparently, Bryce and Lisa got very angry and cursed righteously at people on Easter; Lisa even had to be restrained by her hair
-for the first time I really understand why those models from the 50s and 60s could be considered sexy...alas, I couldn't explain why without blushing
-don't let your cell ring during that Cinemark 'please turn off your phone' screen - it turns out, you might freeze it for several minutes
-new exclamations at the Maynard household: the deadpan "spic-shack", and the more strident "FRANK!!!"
-ugh...kids, if you want to make out Clone High style and show off your hickies, please don't do it in front of a glass-fronted restaurant, much less while your mom and younger siblings are waiting for you
-someone please remind me to take my camera wherever I go, Tucson is full of photo opportunities
-MST3000'ing really bad porn is fun, but not quite interesting enough to make the boring porn itself interesting
-pondering: making the backyard a rally course for the girls; in other news: still need to get a dartboard

a (completely disparate) movie trifecta

Children of Men, with Clive Owen and Michael Caine. Quite a ride, this one is. I have to give the first...I don't know, minute or so, mad props - I admire (and used to aspire to in my writing) texts that can set up and lay out the setting so comprehensively, so quickly. And the rest of the movie, as well, they skirted that fine edge of too much/too little ambiguity, and held to the sweet spot. Besides the wonderful cinematography that Wyatt emphasized when recommending the movie, there's a wealth of semantic nets to put together, from Kim's noticing the details each time a dog showed up to the slipping in of Sanskrit chants. Worth seeing again, I think.

Grindhouse, with several of my favorite actors! Yay! I have to say, my face kind of hurt from grinning so much, by the end of both movies. Have to mention the fake trailers, which were hilarious (I liked Machete best). I'm still having trouble deciding, but I think I liked Deathproof better, overall, but that said, I really just liked the second half of each movie more. Zoe Bell is the shiznit. Seriously. And if someone doesn't make a ytmnd out of the "I'm okay!" part, I might learn how to just so I can. This was pure, shallow fun. And completely tangentially, if Escape From New York was originally a grindhouse movie, Wyatt and I were all over that years ago, and besides that, it was pretty damn good for being a grindhouse movie.

Reign Over Me, with Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle. This is how a movie pertaining to 9/11 should be done. Not like that Flight 93 or World Trade Center, bleh. Walking away from the theatre, it was agreed that it would have made a good novel or a good film, equally; it's not paced quickly, but it's not slow, either. There's a range of interesting characters, and character development for that matter, and even (thankfully) a solidly satisfying ending.
-
random quote!
"Someone once told Picasso that he ought to make pictures of things the way they are - objective pictures. When Picasso said he did not understand, the man produced a picture of his wife from his wallet and said, 'There, you see, that's a picture of how she really is.' Picasso looked at it and said, 'She's rather small, isn't she? And flat?'"

I don't care if I didn't sleep well, awesomeness ensued

I had this dream last night: total space opera. It started out with a huge battle in orbit of bluegreeny planet, and there were all sorts of aliens and different kinds of battleships and stuff blowing up (and a lot of the color pink?). Then, in one of those inexplicable dreamshifts, we were somehow down on the planet, in a kind of mountain pass that now that I think about it kind of resembled the Hot Gates in 300; we were pinned down from both sides, however. My dad was there, though he was kind of morphing back and forth between him and Admiral Adama, and ditto for me, except with Apollo (from BSG). There was a ginormous brawl among all sorts of wierd creatures, like a huge amorphous purple skeleton thing that dissolved people with each swipe or a woman with hands that turned into giant claws; all I managed to do was somehow scale this ten-foot tall woman thing and snap her neck, though she didn't die, but simply querulously complained about it. As some anime-looking jet fighter buzzed us, my dad/Admiral Adama ordered me to make a break for it, so I pulled some parkour action and magically ended up at the front door of my family's house. And had this very lonely feeling, as if I was Crichton at the beginning of Farscape. Apparently it was a dream about me being a giant sci-fi nerd.

In other news, I still have a mancrush on the movie critic KFMA has on Friday mornings. Not only is he witty, but he's really managed to take what I think was generally perceived as a failing business (that is, movies) because of repeated worthlessness and high prices, and make it exciting and something to look forward to every weekend. Yay English-major style reviewing and connection-insights, and dry wit!

Relatedly, I found this point-by-point of the Planet Hulk epic to be a lot more interesting than I'd expected, kind of like Gladiator in a superficial way, but surprisingly the Hulk manages to add some depth

And though I never really got into those distance-setting records just for the sake of setting a record, uh, go helicopter people

conceptry

I've been trying to understand the concept of forgiveness for....about two years now, because at a certain point back then I realized that it was important and even necessary that I come to understand it....but I haven't had any sense of clarity or a straight answer, but this passage finally seems like a start -
'Forgiveness does not in any way justify or condone harmful actions. While you forgive, you may also say, “Never again will I knowingly allow this to happen.”…Forgiveness does not mean you have to seek out or speak to those who caused you harm. You may choose to never see them again.

Forgiveness is simply an act of the heart, a movement to let go of the pain, the resentment, the outrage that you have carried as a burden for so long. It is an easing of your own heart, and an acknowledgment that no matter how strongly you may condemn and have suffered at the evil deeds of another, you will not put another human being out of your heart. We have all been harmed, just as we have all at times harmed ourselves and others.

For most people forgiveness is a process. When you have been deeply wounded, the work of forgiveness can take years. It will go through many stages – grief, rage, sorrow, fear and confusion – and, in the end, if you let yourself feel the pain you carry, it will come as a relief, as a release for your heart. You will see that forgiveness is fundamentally for your own sake, a way to carry the pain of the past no longer. The fate of the person who harmed you, whether they be alive or dead, does not matter nearly as much as what you carry in your heart. And if forgiveness is for yourself, for your own guilt, for the harm you’ve done yourself or another, the process is the same. You will come to realize you can carry it no longer.'

and related and interesting passage:
"Your body becomes your teacher, providing you with feedback as to what your actual experience is in the moment. For instance, you discover you are slumping while sitting in a meeting and realize it's because you don't want to be in the meeting; rather than being present to the feelings of dissatisfaction, your mind has made your body carry the weight of the unhappiness."

An form combining tai chi and aikido, which I initially scoffed at, till I remembered Kevin's dad combining the two disciplines to such an effect as to ellicit gasps

::(un)ziiiiiiip::

Stranger than Fiction, with Will Farrell, Emma Thompson and Maggie Gyllenhaal. As much as I went into this movie somewhat determined to dislike it for various relatively shallow reasons, I ended up unwillingly liking it, in the end. Which was something of an interesting sticking point, to give extra meaning to that meaningless phrase (in the end). Gyllenhaal and Thompson were in their usual fine form (and I have to wonder whether a hospital scene was darkly humorously referencing the film Wit, in regards to Thompson), and Farrell and Queen Latifah surprised the hell out of me. The cinematography and pacing were wonderful, on top of all that, accenting the fantasy-but-mundane-but-not film-world. And, it's kind of fun to narrate one's own life, for an exercise in stepping back from one's own perspective. Though, it occurs to me, hell, what if someone was reviewing my life?

I guess I better add some more nudity.

-from Jack Kornfield's A Path with Heart, an interesting tangent-explanation of idea of karma:
'At the level of physical life, if one looks at an oak tree, one can see “oak tree” manifesting in several stages of life’s patterns. In one stage of the oak tree pattern, an oak tree exists as an acorn; at a subsequent stage it exists as a sapling; in another stage, as a large tree; and in yet another, as the green acorn growing on that large tree. Strictly speaking, there is no such thing as a definitive “oak tree.” There is only the oak tree pattern through which certain elements follow the cyclical law of karma: a particular arrangement of water, minerals, and the energy of sunlight that changes if from acorn to sapling to large tree over and over again.'

-this might be for Penguin, but damn if these didn't make me smile nostalgically; I remember them from some of my favorite scifi-romance novels (just I did just use that phrase, and yes, I know no one has any idea what I'm talking about)

Things of Note - A Running Around omgBusy Weekend

-East Coast Super Subs: thanks, Westin, for the yummies!
-Wyatt's rockets: bloody louder than ever (hence, in each of the several videos of the same test, me yelling "OW!" in the afterward-silence)
-Natalie's all supah-clean and happy, though she does not smell like 'rain' as the scent purported....I knew they wouldn't pull that off (this is me wincing from getting smacked at saying that)
-the house met with family-approval....except with that whole biggest-compost-heap-ever part. And, the fence having 'splodified.
-I seem to have a talent for finding the exact spot a nail just will not go into a wall (Kevin witnessed the mad cursing)
-Ms Kim wins for best April 1 prank evah (she also witnessed some mad cursing)
-in other news, we have no airport skillz: the only person watching the stairs for the company coming in had no idea who she was looking for, everyone else was probably watching the Mexicana with spherical breasts
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from Ms Connie, an impressive conferral between Farscape and tarot (as she pointed out, one wonders how much of it was intentional, with hints given...)